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Backup Plans

Tuesday February 11, 2020

Notebook - The Importance of a Backup Plan for Caregivers

Life is rocking along (not easily because you’re a caregiver, and caregiving isn’t easy).  But you are caring for your mom, and she is enrolled in an adult day program and enjoying it.  Or you are caring for your spouse, and you have in-home care to help several days a week.  Or your dad is living with you, and he is in the early stages of his disease, so he is fine to be left home alone.

Whatever the case, your current situation is working.


  • You, the caregiver, get pneumonia and are hospitalized.
  • Your sister, who helps you care for your parent, is in a serious car wreck and is hospitalized.
  • Your adult child is diagnosed with a major illness, and you have to care for him/her too.
  • Your mom stops sleeping at night, and no one in the house can get rest.
  • Your loved one becomes incontinent, and you can’t manage his care at home anymore.

What’s your plan?

What if your current situation doesn’t work tomorrow?  We don’t want to think that something tragic might happen in our family or that our loved one might suddenly decline, but these things happen all too often.

As a caregiver, it is a good idea to have a backup plan that you can implement quickly.  If a backup plan is not in place, you may find yourself without options in a crisis.  And it’s difficult to make quick decisions when you’re under emotional strain.

Make a backup plan that works for your family and your situation, and don’t delay.  Here are some examples:

Family and/or Friends

Who would come over at the drop of a hat to care for your loved one if necessary?  These are people who could come to your home and stay with your loved one for a few hours or days (or who would let your loved one stay at their house).  Maybe it’s a family member, neighbor, friend, or fellow church member.  Get a list together, and let those people know that they are your backup.

In-Home Care

Set up services with an in-home care agency.  Interview agencies, pick the one you like, sign a contract, and have them ready to start services when/if needed.  You could start off with having an agency caregiver provide services once or twice a week to get your loved one used to the idea.  Or you could just have a contract in place when/if the services are ever needed.

Residential Memory Care

This level of care is a facility with a secure unit, where your loved one can move in.  These facilities are staffed with direct care staff, nurses, and often social workers, who assist and monitor your loved one.  Your loved one will receive bathing/hygiene services, meals, activities, housekeeping, etc.  There are many facilities that provide this level of service.  You could tour facilities now, narrow down to the one you like, and put down a deposit.  Putting down a deposit does not mean you have to move your loved one in soon.  It means you are interested.  If you get offered an available space but don’t need it yet, you can say, “We aren’t ready right now, but keep us on the list.”

You may never use your backup plan, but it is good to have one just in case.  Your future self will thank you.  If you would like to talk more about backup plans and get some feedback and advice for your particular situation, give us a call at 901-854-1200 and/or make an appointment to come by and see us.