Transitioning to Long Term Care

Moving your loved one into a dementia care residence or skilled nursing home is difficult for all parties involved.  Here’s some suggested Dos and Don’ts to make the transition easier for you and your loved one.  If you have questions about your specific situation, please give us a call at 901-854-1200.  We’d be happy to help.

DON’T buy all new furniture, bedding, and décor.  You may think shiny, new home goods will make the room look more inviting to your loved one, but you’ll be breaking the bank when your loved one will most likely prefer their tried and true possessions.

DO furnish the room with familiar and well-loved comforts of home.  Take your loved one’s bed if it will fit.  Use sheets, blankets, and pillows that have the smell of home.  Don’t wash these things prior to making the bed at the new place.  The familiar scent and feel will make for a better first night’s sleep.  If possible, take your loved one’s favorite comfortable chair.  Bring a cozy blanket for chilly nights.

DO bring copies of pictures and/or picture books.  Make copies of the original pictures, so if they are misplaced, you’ll still have the original.  Create a photo book through Walgreens, Shutterfly, etc.  We’ve seen families create a life story book filled with pictures and captions of loved ones, special places, and milestones throughout the years.

DO label everything.  Limit the clothing you take.  It’s easy for clothing to get messy and get lost.  Hang shirts, pants/skirts on the hanger together as a set.  Label socks on the bottom of the foot.  Label underwear.

DON’T take anything that you would be upset if it disappeared or was damaged.  Please be sure that nothing of significance is in your loved one’s wallet (social security card, credit card, etc.).  The facility will have a “bank,” so your loved one won’t need cash.  If you need to leave cash, try not to leave more than $10.  Also, swap out real jewelry for costume jewelry.

DON’T move on the weekend.  Generally, there are fewer management staff available.  You want to have the best first couple of days you possibly can.

DO make alternate plans for your loved one on moving day(s).  It’s difficult to see your things boxed up and moved around.  Move your loved one’s things while they are otherwise occupied to minimize their stress (and yours!).  If your loved one is attending an adult day program, get everything moved in and get the room ready while he/she is at the day program.  You may feel like you need to discuss everything and get their permission, but this is likely not one of those situations.

DO share bullet points of a typical day with facility staff.  Here’s an example:

  • 7 am – Wakes up, likes his coffee with 2 big splashes and cream and 2 teaspoons of sugar
  • Prefers to bathe before bed
  • Might nap after lunch but otherwise doesn’t nap much during the day
  • Enjoys playing cards in the afternoon
  • Likes to talk about his grandson
  • Storms and loud noises make him anxious – listening to music usually makes him feel better
  • 8:30 pm – goes to bed with the TV on

DO inform your loved one’s physician that you are making the move.  If your loved one is prone to anxiety and/or displays high levels of agitation during the transition, the physician may want to prescribe something to help.

DO ask the facility for tips and ideas.  Trust that the facility has helped many people make this place home.  They may have good suggestions on when to visit, how often to visit, and ways for you and your loved one to adjust.

DO be patient with the transition and with yourself.  It may take a while for your loved one to settle in.  That’s okay and to be expected.  Know that if this isn’t the right place, you can make a move.  You’re making the best decision you can with the information you currently have, and it’s enough!  It’s okay to change your mind.